3/25/11

Good-byes have been some of the most painful moments in my life . . . sometimes they come suddenly through death, other times they “just happen” as a result of life and all it’s twists and turns . . . either way, good-byes are one of my least favorite things!

This week, I’ve had to say good-bye one time too many!

The first good-bye was to someone who had “held me up” for a long time through a listening ear, a supportive presence, her “job”.  I can’t help but wonder if she grew tired, disenchanted, frustrated? Did I grow beyond needing what she could offer? Was it just our time to take separate paths? Either way, it was a good-bye that has left me half empty, looking for the open door, the promise of God that: “I will not leave you”.

The second good-bye was to Sr. Mary Paul . . . a gentle Sister who has reminded me often that “I pray for you everyday”. In my 25 years in community, that has been a lot of prayers! I never once saw her; even in passing that I didn’t know for certain that she was indeed praying for me everyday!

So many times, I counted on those prayers to get me through.

Today as she joins the communion of angels and saints, I pray for her and her release from weariness and pain, and I know and am confidant that she will still keep an eye out for me!

So, to both of you, thank you for your support and your prayers and good-bye, God be with you on your journey.

“Hail Mary Full of Grace, bless the journey, bless the place we come to and we leave.”

I'm baaack!

Another week has gone by and what a difference a week makes!!
For the first time in a long time the sun was out! I drove in a car that had the sun roof up and literally just turned my face to the sun and gave myself to it . . .(no I wasn't driving!)

I felt like for a few short hours there was nothing that could be bigger than I was and then the sun set . . . and I remembered: friends whose young child is critically ill, friends whose older child is sick, family who struggle with life choices, the people of Japan, the people of everywhere really . . .
and then I remembered the sun!

I remembered how people are basically good, how faithful my friends are, how faithful our God is to us, and I realized that the road may not always be easy but the sun will come up again, and we will have a chance to make the day better just by being a part of it!

Speaking of sun, this is a picture of the first sunrise of 2011:

Nun of This is back . . .

I have decided that in order to be a little more consistent with my blog and to help it establish itself, I will make Friday my blog day . . . if there are other days in between, then gravy! If not, I promise to be here on Friday!
This Friday finds me returning from vacation and settling into a new week and going back to work . . . it also finds me looking at the third anniversary of the death of a very dear friend . . . I understand this whole death thing, and grief, and yada yada, but I don't get why she dies and it's my life that is changed forever???
What kind of deal is that??
I took a picture this week that made me think a little bit about what all of this feels like three years later . . .

It has felt like so much death . . . so much letting go, so much hurt, and yet, when I looked a little more I saw that there is also life! In the midst of the bramble and weed, there is life! Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent have also been a good time to reflect on all of this . . . the symbol of the ash is a constant reminder to me that others have been here before, in this same place, in this same hurt, and others will be again. The burning of the ash gives light and warmth, but the ash itself? A reminder that someone has lit the fire and will continue to do so . . . and then there is the promise that :"we rise again from ashes"